I fight tooth-and-nail for the things that are important to me. Jarre is important to me and he's a tad blue at the moment. It's affecting our relationship. And it is because of a statement I made in regards to the person he was several months ago. But he's grown so much and is a different, better, even more amazing person than the guy I originally fell in love with. So I'm going to fight with every ounce I have to make this work.
"Love never fails."
Neither do I.
Live strong and prosper readers.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Oy Vay. Things have been a-changin...
To understand the present, you must understand the past.
I saw him at a choir concert and although his posture was off and he looked indifferent, he was the single most gorgeous human being I'd ever seen. I was only 15 and he was 16. I didn't know his name but I had to meet him. He was too attractive to not meet. I met him a few months later and was enamored. He was funny and his laugh was infectious but I thought he was way too pretty to want to talk to me. I am persistent however and he was an especially beautiful and our last classes were next to each other. So I talked to him before and after that class and at the end of the year I discovered two amazing things: 1) we would have choir together the next year and 2) his name was Jarre.
Our relationship as rather tumultuous the first year. The second year though was generally beautiful and loving and comfortable. Then the last few months we were together, something was wrong. I didn't know what. I didn't know how to fix it so I just kept trying to smother him with all of my time and attention so he'd be happy. He wasn't. Nothing got fixed.
I've already written about our break up and thus will not discuss it again but I've done quite a bit of thinking about us lately and I was definitely more at fault than either of us previously thought. I'm neurotic, needy, emotional, and I was remarkably passive. I knew something was wrong but I never pressed him for an answer.
Anyhoo, a couple weeks ago he did three things he'd never done before:
1) He answered a specific question with a specific answer.
2) He listed things he missed about me as a person rather than things I did for him.
3) He told me he loved me, missed me, and wanted me back.
It's a process but we're working towards getting back together. He's shown some very promising growth and is committed to making this work this time around. We have plans to work through our issues both together and individually and for the first time in months, I'm wholly happy. He's sweet, intelligent, kind, loving, hi-larious, and makes me smile.
Be happy for me.
Stay classy readers.
I saw him at a choir concert and although his posture was off and he looked indifferent, he was the single most gorgeous human being I'd ever seen. I was only 15 and he was 16. I didn't know his name but I had to meet him. He was too attractive to not meet. I met him a few months later and was enamored. He was funny and his laugh was infectious but I thought he was way too pretty to want to talk to me. I am persistent however and he was an especially beautiful and our last classes were next to each other. So I talked to him before and after that class and at the end of the year I discovered two amazing things: 1) we would have choir together the next year and 2) his name was Jarre.
Our relationship as rather tumultuous the first year. The second year though was generally beautiful and loving and comfortable. Then the last few months we were together, something was wrong. I didn't know what. I didn't know how to fix it so I just kept trying to smother him with all of my time and attention so he'd be happy. He wasn't. Nothing got fixed.
I've already written about our break up and thus will not discuss it again but I've done quite a bit of thinking about us lately and I was definitely more at fault than either of us previously thought. I'm neurotic, needy, emotional, and I was remarkably passive. I knew something was wrong but I never pressed him for an answer.
Anyhoo, a couple weeks ago he did three things he'd never done before:
1) He answered a specific question with a specific answer.
2) He listed things he missed about me as a person rather than things I did for him.
3) He told me he loved me, missed me, and wanted me back.
It's a process but we're working towards getting back together. He's shown some very promising growth and is committed to making this work this time around. We have plans to work through our issues both together and individually and for the first time in months, I'm wholly happy. He's sweet, intelligent, kind, loving, hi-larious, and makes me smile.
Be happy for me.
Stay classy readers.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Quick, Quick, Slow
That's right, this is a post about two-stepping!
I went to line-dancing/two-stepping lessons this past Thursday with some girlfriends and it was the most fun I've had in forever. I discovered a few new things: 1) I love to two-step 2) I like to lead ;)
There was this ridiculously attractive lady teaching, you see, which may have made me stumble a bit more than I would've otherwise. Of course I had no problem sticking my foot directly in my mouth. Somehow the entire line dancing crew ending facing my table, including said good-lookin instuctor, and I mentioned to my friend "O I don't like this at all" meaning I wasn't a fan of having such a large group facing me. However my statement was misunderstood and the instructor looked at me and said, "It's ok, you don't have to like every line dance." But I did like the dance! I couldn't do it but I loved it. I wanted to be able to do it but I ended up in the complete wong direction and I kept forgetting which foot was right and which was left. Oy vay, it was no good. I felt like a jerk.
But let's be honest, the dancing I'd done up to this point was with stationary feet and rhythmic ass shaking. The fact that I was able to dance while moving them at all was fuckin amazing.
In other news, we did a test spot today to see if I'd scar with just cutting or if skin removal was necessary. That shit did not tickle, let me tell you what*. I mean, it wasn't nearly as awful as I thought it would be but it wasn't a picnic. I think I get to keep my skin, thank God.
I'm so excited for the things to come.
I hope you are too, reader!
*said with an audible "h"
I went to line-dancing/two-stepping lessons this past Thursday with some girlfriends and it was the most fun I've had in forever. I discovered a few new things: 1) I love to two-step 2) I like to lead ;)
There was this ridiculously attractive lady teaching, you see, which may have made me stumble a bit more than I would've otherwise. Of course I had no problem sticking my foot directly in my mouth. Somehow the entire line dancing crew ending facing my table, including said good-lookin instuctor, and I mentioned to my friend "O I don't like this at all" meaning I wasn't a fan of having such a large group facing me. However my statement was misunderstood and the instructor looked at me and said, "It's ok, you don't have to like every line dance." But I did like the dance! I couldn't do it but I loved it. I wanted to be able to do it but I ended up in the complete wong direction and I kept forgetting which foot was right and which was left. Oy vay, it was no good. I felt like a jerk.
But let's be honest, the dancing I'd done up to this point was with stationary feet and rhythmic ass shaking. The fact that I was able to dance while moving them at all was fuckin amazing.
In other news, we did a test spot today to see if I'd scar with just cutting or if skin removal was necessary. That shit did not tickle, let me tell you what*. I mean, it wasn't nearly as awful as I thought it would be but it wasn't a picnic. I think I get to keep my skin, thank God.
I'm so excited for the things to come.
I hope you are too, reader!
*said with an audible "h"
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