I was accused today of being a superficial elitist by someone I love because I talk about my piercings and tattoos and the proper terminology for piercings and jewelry. I was so hurt. I talk about those things because I find them fascinating. It took so long for me to find my niche in society that I just want to know everything and experiance as much as possible and I like to tell people about them because I'm excited.
That shit hurt.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
As one idea falls, another rises!
Scarification is out. I just don't fuckin scar. It's ridiculous. Butbutbut I will be getting tattooed at the end of the month and starting work on a sleeve. I am getting Ahava, Raya, and Dod around my upper wrist. They are the three types of love in Hebrew that correlate to types of love from a psychological perspective: Ahava is the love of wills, commitment; Raya is the love of friendship, intimacy; and Dod is sexy love, passion. I'm so excited, I've wanted this tattoo for years.
Hopefully, I will be adding a Ganesh tattoo on my upper arm soon thereafter. I'm very excited about that. I, numero uno, love elephants. Ganesh has an elephant head. Numero dos, Ganesh is all about overcoming obstacles and the sort, which I do. Numero tres, it'll be big and colorful and beautiful. I just want his head and I want it surrounded by lotus and grapefruit blossoms. It would be beautiful. Hopefully, I can get a decent start on it this summer at least and maybe have it finished by Christmas.
My job makes mods so difficult. I have to think about what would happen if it got hit, pinched, bitten, or scratched. For tattoos, those would be awful, it would ruin healing work. For piercings, it hurts and it's irritating but it's livable. It just means that all my tattoos need to be healed by like mid August.
Jarre and I are happy again. Therapy is helpful.
Go forth and be colorful.
Hopefully, I will be adding a Ganesh tattoo on my upper arm soon thereafter. I'm very excited about that. I, numero uno, love elephants. Ganesh has an elephant head. Numero dos, Ganesh is all about overcoming obstacles and the sort, which I do. Numero tres, it'll be big and colorful and beautiful. I just want his head and I want it surrounded by lotus and grapefruit blossoms. It would be beautiful. Hopefully, I can get a decent start on it this summer at least and maybe have it finished by Christmas.
My job makes mods so difficult. I have to think about what would happen if it got hit, pinched, bitten, or scratched. For tattoos, those would be awful, it would ruin healing work. For piercings, it hurts and it's irritating but it's livable. It just means that all my tattoos need to be healed by like mid August.
Jarre and I are happy again. Therapy is helpful.
Go forth and be colorful.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
At least it's not cancer
Things with Jarre and I are shitty. I'm scared and this sucks. Gah. My stomach issues are either acid reflux or gall bladder disease.
It's hard to be positive somtimes.
It's hard to be positive somtimes.
Monday, May 3, 2010
I do believe it's the stomach death
This is the week of the APP (Association of Professional Piercers) Convention and a piercer friend of mine, Marilyn, will be in search of three beautiful pairs of stone plugs for me. I'm excited.
Things with Jarre and I are going well. I have more shit to deal with as a Julia than I think we do as a couple which is why tomorrow I will be looking into finding myself a real live psychologist of my very own. I need help. This is the first time in years that I don't think I can fix things on my own. I need help. And I'm ready to accept help. Now most of you don't know me but I don't do that easily. I'm very independent and asking for/accepting help from others is something I would not have been able to do 6 months ago. However, it's very upsetting to find out I've been holding on to so much pain and anger for so long. Like, years. I thought I was past that sorta stuff.
In other news, I have had horrible stomach pain since last Wednesday and I think I might be dying. Or just not eating correctly. Or, heaven forbid, lactose intolerant.
Ah well, let's just hope for good things to come.
Things with Jarre and I are going well. I have more shit to deal with as a Julia than I think we do as a couple which is why tomorrow I will be looking into finding myself a real live psychologist of my very own. I need help. This is the first time in years that I don't think I can fix things on my own. I need help. And I'm ready to accept help. Now most of you don't know me but I don't do that easily. I'm very independent and asking for/accepting help from others is something I would not have been able to do 6 months ago. However, it's very upsetting to find out I've been holding on to so much pain and anger for so long. Like, years. I thought I was past that sorta stuff.
In other news, I have had horrible stomach pain since last Wednesday and I think I might be dying. Or just not eating correctly. Or, heaven forbid, lactose intolerant.
Ah well, let's just hope for good things to come.
Friday, April 23, 2010
All you need is love, babadadada
I fight tooth-and-nail for the things that are important to me. Jarre is important to me and he's a tad blue at the moment. It's affecting our relationship. And it is because of a statement I made in regards to the person he was several months ago. But he's grown so much and is a different, better, even more amazing person than the guy I originally fell in love with. So I'm going to fight with every ounce I have to make this work.
"Love never fails."
Neither do I.
Live strong and prosper readers.
"Love never fails."
Neither do I.
Live strong and prosper readers.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Oy Vay. Things have been a-changin...
To understand the present, you must understand the past.
I saw him at a choir concert and although his posture was off and he looked indifferent, he was the single most gorgeous human being I'd ever seen. I was only 15 and he was 16. I didn't know his name but I had to meet him. He was too attractive to not meet. I met him a few months later and was enamored. He was funny and his laugh was infectious but I thought he was way too pretty to want to talk to me. I am persistent however and he was an especially beautiful and our last classes were next to each other. So I talked to him before and after that class and at the end of the year I discovered two amazing things: 1) we would have choir together the next year and 2) his name was Jarre.
Our relationship as rather tumultuous the first year. The second year though was generally beautiful and loving and comfortable. Then the last few months we were together, something was wrong. I didn't know what. I didn't know how to fix it so I just kept trying to smother him with all of my time and attention so he'd be happy. He wasn't. Nothing got fixed.
I've already written about our break up and thus will not discuss it again but I've done quite a bit of thinking about us lately and I was definitely more at fault than either of us previously thought. I'm neurotic, needy, emotional, and I was remarkably passive. I knew something was wrong but I never pressed him for an answer.
Anyhoo, a couple weeks ago he did three things he'd never done before:
1) He answered a specific question with a specific answer.
2) He listed things he missed about me as a person rather than things I did for him.
3) He told me he loved me, missed me, and wanted me back.
It's a process but we're working towards getting back together. He's shown some very promising growth and is committed to making this work this time around. We have plans to work through our issues both together and individually and for the first time in months, I'm wholly happy. He's sweet, intelligent, kind, loving, hi-larious, and makes me smile.
Be happy for me.
Stay classy readers.
I saw him at a choir concert and although his posture was off and he looked indifferent, he was the single most gorgeous human being I'd ever seen. I was only 15 and he was 16. I didn't know his name but I had to meet him. He was too attractive to not meet. I met him a few months later and was enamored. He was funny and his laugh was infectious but I thought he was way too pretty to want to talk to me. I am persistent however and he was an especially beautiful and our last classes were next to each other. So I talked to him before and after that class and at the end of the year I discovered two amazing things: 1) we would have choir together the next year and 2) his name was Jarre.
Our relationship as rather tumultuous the first year. The second year though was generally beautiful and loving and comfortable. Then the last few months we were together, something was wrong. I didn't know what. I didn't know how to fix it so I just kept trying to smother him with all of my time and attention so he'd be happy. He wasn't. Nothing got fixed.
I've already written about our break up and thus will not discuss it again but I've done quite a bit of thinking about us lately and I was definitely more at fault than either of us previously thought. I'm neurotic, needy, emotional, and I was remarkably passive. I knew something was wrong but I never pressed him for an answer.
Anyhoo, a couple weeks ago he did three things he'd never done before:
1) He answered a specific question with a specific answer.
2) He listed things he missed about me as a person rather than things I did for him.
3) He told me he loved me, missed me, and wanted me back.
It's a process but we're working towards getting back together. He's shown some very promising growth and is committed to making this work this time around. We have plans to work through our issues both together and individually and for the first time in months, I'm wholly happy. He's sweet, intelligent, kind, loving, hi-larious, and makes me smile.
Be happy for me.
Stay classy readers.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Quick, Quick, Slow
That's right, this is a post about two-stepping!
I went to line-dancing/two-stepping lessons this past Thursday with some girlfriends and it was the most fun I've had in forever. I discovered a few new things: 1) I love to two-step 2) I like to lead ;)
There was this ridiculously attractive lady teaching, you see, which may have made me stumble a bit more than I would've otherwise. Of course I had no problem sticking my foot directly in my mouth. Somehow the entire line dancing crew ending facing my table, including said good-lookin instuctor, and I mentioned to my friend "O I don't like this at all" meaning I wasn't a fan of having such a large group facing me. However my statement was misunderstood and the instructor looked at me and said, "It's ok, you don't have to like every line dance." But I did like the dance! I couldn't do it but I loved it. I wanted to be able to do it but I ended up in the complete wong direction and I kept forgetting which foot was right and which was left. Oy vay, it was no good. I felt like a jerk.
But let's be honest, the dancing I'd done up to this point was with stationary feet and rhythmic ass shaking. The fact that I was able to dance while moving them at all was fuckin amazing.
In other news, we did a test spot today to see if I'd scar with just cutting or if skin removal was necessary. That shit did not tickle, let me tell you what*. I mean, it wasn't nearly as awful as I thought it would be but it wasn't a picnic. I think I get to keep my skin, thank God.
I'm so excited for the things to come.
I hope you are too, reader!
*said with an audible "h"
I went to line-dancing/two-stepping lessons this past Thursday with some girlfriends and it was the most fun I've had in forever. I discovered a few new things: 1) I love to two-step 2) I like to lead ;)
There was this ridiculously attractive lady teaching, you see, which may have made me stumble a bit more than I would've otherwise. Of course I had no problem sticking my foot directly in my mouth. Somehow the entire line dancing crew ending facing my table, including said good-lookin instuctor, and I mentioned to my friend "O I don't like this at all" meaning I wasn't a fan of having such a large group facing me. However my statement was misunderstood and the instructor looked at me and said, "It's ok, you don't have to like every line dance." But I did like the dance! I couldn't do it but I loved it. I wanted to be able to do it but I ended up in the complete wong direction and I kept forgetting which foot was right and which was left. Oy vay, it was no good. I felt like a jerk.
But let's be honest, the dancing I'd done up to this point was with stationary feet and rhythmic ass shaking. The fact that I was able to dance while moving them at all was fuckin amazing.
In other news, we did a test spot today to see if I'd scar with just cutting or if skin removal was necessary. That shit did not tickle, let me tell you what*. I mean, it wasn't nearly as awful as I thought it would be but it wasn't a picnic. I think I get to keep my skin, thank God.
I'm so excited for the things to come.
I hope you are too, reader!
*said with an audible "h"
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